A joke per day...keeps the doctor away!

[Lambretta]

Thalaiva!!

[Designer]

NOV : @ Goalkeeper & Nelson Mandela

[NOV]

thank you guys..


A First grade school teacher had 26 students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the first half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.

It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you.
While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!

1. Don't change horses Until they stop running.

2. Strike while the Bug is close.

3. It's always darkest before Daylight Saving Time.

4. Never underestimate the power of Termites.

5. You can lead a horse to water but How?

6. Don't bite the hand that Looks dirty.

7. No news is Impossible

8. A miss is as good as a Mr.

9. You can't teach an old dog new Math

10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll stink in the morning.

11. Love all, trust Me.

12. The pen is mightier than the Pigs.

13. An idle mind is The best way to relax

14. Where there's smoke there's Pollution.

15. Happy the bride who Gets all the presents.

16. A penny saved is Not much.

17. Two's company, three's The Musketeers.

18. Don't put off till tomorrow what you put on to go to bed.

19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and You have to blow your nose.

20. There are none as blind as Stevie Wonder.

21. Children should be seen and not Spanked or grounded.

22. If at first you don't succeed Get new batteries.

23. You get out of something only what you See in the picture on the box

24. When the blind lead the blind get out of the way.

25. A bird in the hand Is going to poop on you.

And the WINNER and last one!

26. Better late than Pregnant

[NOV]

Before marriage....


He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.

She: Do you want me to leave?

He: No! Don't even think about it.

She: Do you love me?

He: Of course! Over and over!

She: Have you ever cheated on me?

He: No! Why are you even asking?

She: Will you kiss me?

He: Every chance I get.

She: Will you hit me?

He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!

She: Can I trust you?

He: Yes.

She: Darling!


After marriage....

Simply read from bottom to top

[nms]

@ NOV

13. An idle mind is The best way to relax

[NOV]

[tscii]
Interview questions

From:Kathareen
What kind of car or animal would you be?
What is the reason for them asking you that? I want to work not be a car or animal!!!

Oh and then "Where do you want to be in 5 years from now?" How do you answer that?

Not where would you like to be with our company in 5 years but just "Where do you want to be in 5 years?" What does this have to do with the job requirements or qualifications?
Please let me know why they ask these questions and how are you suppose to respond intelligently.
Thanks,
Very frustrated…

From:tintinmilou

It is SO unfortunate that humor is inappropriate at job interviews. That's why you should ALWAYS interview at jobs you don't want, so that you can respond to such questions with answers such as:
"I'd be a tiger, so that I can run down my human prey and crush their puny skulls with my powerful jaws and feel their hot brains and blood squish out through my teeth and rip out their steaming entrails onto the grass, crushing their bones to get at the red bloody marrow, but mostly so I could kill interviewers who ask stupid questions to take advantage of their position to try to make job-hunters uncomfortable. "

"On the other hand, I'd like to be a bunny, too."

If you do it with enough passion and enthusiasm, it's fun to watch their faces.

You can get really inappropriate, too. I like to tell them I want to be a stallion. "Why?" "Oh, I can't tell you THAT! This is a job interview!"

Where do I want to be five years from now? "I want to be gainfully employed by this company in Human Resources so I can replace you with a competent person". Any recruiter who asks those kinds of questions is probably young and inexperienced - just out of college and still using the psychological profile questions from the text books they still hang onto from school.

But seriously, interviewing at jobs you don't want is the best way to hone your technique. You're not under any pressure, you can easily project confidence, and you have nothing to risk. I've actually gotten better results from interviews for jobs I don't want than from jobs I do.

It's really ego-boosting to be able to respond to an offer or a request for a follow-up interview with the same verbage they use to turn down candidates!

From:mostbravest

A good friend of mine is a hiring manager and from a HR perspective she hates the animal question but had to use it since there were two excellent candidates for a job she was hirning for.
This is how it went.

What animal would you like to be?
First person said " I would like to be a bird so I can fly around and see things from a different perspective.
The second person said they want to be a cat so they could be lazy all day.
Now which one do you think got the job?

[app_engine]

http://dailythanthi.com/article.asp?...date=2/28/2008

This incident is like the court scene in the hindi movie "gerAftAr" (where Kamal, Rajini and Amitabh acted)

[NOV]

DRIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM

NOTE:
Please do not soot the person at the applikason kounter.
He will give you the licen.
For phurthar instructions, see bottom applikason.


1. Last name:

(_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Pandey (_) Misra (_) Dot no

(Check karet box)

2. First name:

(_) Ramprasad (_) Lakhan (_) Sivprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_) Dot no

(Check karet box)

3. Age:

(_) Less than phipty (_) Greater than phipty (_) Dot no

(Check karet box)

4. Sex: ____ M _____ P(F) _____ not sure _____not applicable

5. Chappal Size: ____ Lepht ____ Right

6. Occupason:

(_) Politison (_) Doodhwala (_) Pehelwaan (_) House wife (_) Un-employed

(Check karet box)

7. Number of children libing in the household: ___

8. Number that are yours: ___

9. Mather name: ____________ _________ __

10. Phather Name: ____________ ________ (If not no,leave blank)

11. Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

12. Dental rekard:

(_) Ellow (_) Berownish-ellow (_) Berown (_) Belack (_) Other -__________ Give egjhakt color

(Check karet box)

13.Your thumb imparesson :
____________ _________ _______

(If you are copying from another applikason pharom, please do not copy thumb impression also. Please
provide your own thumb impression.)

PELEASE DO NOT USE PHINGERS OF YOUR LEGS

Use thumb on y our lepht hand only. If you dont have le pht hand, use your thumb on right hand. If you do not have right hand, use thumb on lepht hand.

NOTE : IF YOU DONT HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DRIVE. WE ARE VARY ISTRICT ABOUT THIS

[suba]

hi i am a great fan of this thread though i have not contributed anything here. had been only a reader. anyway...

=========

EMPLOYEE:- BOSS Now i have got married , please increase my salary

BOSS:- Factory is not responsible for accidents

=========

Husbund to friend: My wife is very demanding...she ask everyday for Rs 1000

Friend: Oh, but have u ever asked what she is doing with that money?

Husbund: oh , she only can answer , if i give her once!!

=========

Patient: Doctor! in my dream monkeys were playing football every night.

Doctor: Take this medicine from today's night.

Patient: Doctor can i take this medicine from tomorrow.

Doctor: why?

Patient:Because today is final match......

=========

Teacher : What happened in 1869 ?

Student : I dont Know ...

Teacher : Stupid . Gandhiji was born ... Now tel me , What happened in 1873 ?

Student : Gandhiji became 4 years old .........!

============

Q: What did the gangster’s son tell his dad when he failed his examination?

A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything.”

=============

[Shakthiprabha.]

Patient: Doctor! in my dream monkeys were playing football every night.

Doctor: Take this medicine from today's night.

Patient: Doctor can i take this medicine from tomorrow.

Doctor: why?

Patient:Because today is final match......

=========

Teacher : What happened in 1869 ?

Student : I dont Know ...

Teacher : Stupid . Gandhiji was born ... Now tel me , What happened in 1873 ?

Student : Gandhiji became 4 years old .........!

============