A joke per day...keeps the doctor away!

**kugan98** · 14th July 2011, 12:55 PM

Read somewhere:

Polish Man
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete.

I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
No, we have carport, and not need one.

I mean. What are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland.

Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.

Is your wife a nagger?
No, she's white.

Why do you want this divorce?
She going to kill me.

What makes you think that?
I got proof.

What kind of proof?
She going to poison me. She buys a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say: "Polish Remover"

**Google Adsense** · 14th July 2011 12:55 PM

**nms** · 19th July 2011, 02:29 PM

This Thread is still running!!.. AM checking after almost two years.cud be more than that!!..

Happy to Read

**Sarna** · 26th July 2011, 10:43 AM

A conversation between two beggars in the local railway station……..

1st beggar: Which PLATFORM is yours?

Another conversation between two software engineers in the same station……….

1st person: which PLATFORM is yours?

**Sarna** · 26th July 2011, 10:44 AM

A Guy WAS chatting with a female (never met her directly) - Online chat.

(Background, both are s/w engineers by the way and both work for real big MNC's )

Hero: Hey...GM (Good Morning)... How's u doing today?

Female: VGM...Day is going good and it got better having found u on chat

Hero: wow...am honored, u know what, my day starts only when I find you on Chat

Female: Yep...me too feel the same...Brb (be right back)'ll get some Coffee.

Hero: OK(Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes to his seat.)

Manager: Hey, I need some help from you

Hero: [**** This guy always comes at wrong time] Yeah tell me

Manager: Could u write a program for me which generates nth prime number, given value of n. Would you give this by today evening?

Hero: I would do that, but I think it's quite hard, is it ok with you, if I Give it by tomorrow evening.

Manager: Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves the place]

(Our hero sighs and stares at his monitor waiting impatiently for Female to Arrive. All of a sudden smiles on his face. Over to chat window...)

Female: Hey, am back

Hero: cool, you know what my manager does, She's kinda..... keeps asking stupid Things, tries to give me stupid work

Female: Yeah, it's the same everywhere. Real sick ppl these managers are!!

Hero: Yep, u rite!!

Female: Hey, can u do me a favor

Hero: *smiles* sure, why not.

Female: Hey, I want you to write me a program to print nth prime Number; given N. Would you give that to me by tomorrow evening? Plzzz. You know it's real Urgent for me to work this out

Hero: hey, that's a one-hour's work. Sure check Ur mail in an hour from now. ok?

Female: THIS IS WHAT I ASKED U WHEN I CAME TO YOUR WORK PLACE. NOW YOU KNOW WHO I AM!! AND ONE MORE POINT.... YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW!!

**Sarna** · 26th July 2011, 10:46 AM

Not only we hate the Long working weekends, even the calender says W T F after the monday and tuesday

**Sarna** · 26th July 2011, 10:48 AM

Little Raj came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.
Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.
Little Raj was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home.
Raj’s mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday.
Little Raj, of course, thought he did.
Raj’s mother wanted Raj to reflect on his behaviour over the last year.
Go to your room, Raj, and think about how you have behaved this year.
Then write a letter to Lord Krishna and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday.
Little Raj stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write Krishna [Lord] a letter.
**************
Letter 1
Dear Krishna [Lord],
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.
Your friend,
Raj
**************
Raj knew that this wasn’t true. He had not been a very good boy this year,
So he tore up the letter and started over.
**************
Letter 2
Dear Krishna [Lord],
This is your friend Raj. I have been a good boy this year and I would like a red bike for my birthday. Thank you.
Your friend,
Raj
**************
Raj knew he could not send this letter to krishna either. So, Raj wrote a third letter
**************
Letter 3
Lord Krishna,
I know I haven’t been a good boy this year. I am very sorry.
I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday please!
Thank you,
Raj
**************
Raj knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike.
Now, Raj was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to temple.
Raj’s mother thought her plan had worked, as Raj looked very sad.
Just be home in time for dinner, Raj’s mother told him.
Raj walked down the street to the temple on the corner.
Little Raj went into the temple and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there.
Raj bent down and picked up a statue of the Radha.
He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the temple, down the street, into the house, and up to his room.
He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen.
Raj began to write his letter to Krishna.
**************
Letter 5
Lord Krishna,
I’VE KIDNAPPED YOUR GIRLFRIEND. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE

**Balaji.r** · 26th July 2011, 11:01 AM

Originally Posted by NOV

History always tells a story.......... That's why we must delete it before DAD uses the computer.

it can be otherway too

**kugan98** · 26th July 2011, 12:14 PM

A Dollar Per Point
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point." The next class the professor handed the graded tests back out. This student got back his test, his test grade, and $64 change.

**Sarna** · 29th July 2011, 10:21 AM

A helicopter was flying around above Bangalore when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.

Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters.

People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said:
"YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to Bengaluru airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.

"I knew it had to be the IT Park, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

**app_engine** · 29th July 2011, 11:42 PM

Originally Posted by Sarna

A conversation between two beggars in the local railway station……..

1st beggar: Which PLATFORM is yours?

Another conversation between two software engineers in the same station……….

1st person: which PLATFORM is yours?

What next Sarna? Two prostitutes in a bus stop asking each other "were you up all night" and two IT guys asking the same question to each other in the same bus stop?

seyyum thozhilukku neenga seyyum mariyAdhai pullarikka vaikkudhu